Received my TSA approved heavy petting after declining the scan. Now enjoying a cigarette.

Now to celebrate the true meaning of Thanksgiving by flushing a months worth of food for a third-world village down the toilet.

Mary went out the door to church this morning with her witch halloween costume on (with hat).

Krazee Glue: “bonds to skin instantly upon contact”

In the office. Not wearing pants.

I was just attacked by a giraffe.

Addie and I went to Chic-Filet for dinner. We both got a chocolate shake for dessert. Now what are all these boys doing in my yard?